Do not use children as a holder for doors. As a joke the British.

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About English humor all heard. But as it is implemented in practice?

For example, the British all joking in the home and at work .

Here are a few phrases British train drivers metro.

Machinists conducting the educational program:

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, please stay behind the yellow line. It is located under your feet, looks yellow and is reminiscent of… the line!”

 

“Gentlemen! Doors — these are large red sliding thing. They open and close. All the time.”

 

“This train has six cars. Keep in mind that if you break the first, sometimes the door to close, you can’t.”

 

“Dear Sir in the second car, I can assure you that the rain in the train is not. Please, put your umbrella down”

 

 

 The caring operators:

 

“Ladies and gentlemen! Sorry for the delay. We’re just waiting for naked drunk dancer will leave the tunnel. We don’t want to drive on it?”.

 

“There in the tunnel, and he probably wants to die, but I won’t give him the chance. So we will stand and not going anywhere”.

 

“The guy with the accordion, please, put your trousers on”.

 

“On behalf of a passenger with a folding bike I would like to apologize for causing all of you beats”

 

“When waiting for the train, please, stay away from the edge of the platform. 28-ton train against your body — I know who would put their money.”

 

 

Law-abiding drivers:

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, excuse us, we need to stay here for a while, as the front of a red light. Just my boss is annoying and he really doesn’t like it when I’m on red.”

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, please remain behind the yellow line! We all want to you were in the car, not under it”.

 

“Please do not let the closure of the car. And especially do not use their children as a holder for doors”.

 

“Please take the kids with me. Even the most irritable”.

 

Useful operators:

 

“Access to Winter Wonderland. Or, as I like to say, to the place where you can spend a lot of money very quickly.”

“Welcome to St. Paul’s Cathedral, where you will pay £ 12 for communication with God.”

 

Honest drivers:

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, I turned off the ad with a female voice, because they remind me of my ex-wife. I’m sorry.”

“Please stand away from the doors of the car. If they get you hooked, the insurance won’t cover it”.

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